Once or twice a month, when I'm at home on the couch with a glass of wine, I check a dating app. I have a hard time making the first move, but I can't tell you how many messages I get that bring up race right away, or the number of white guys that reach out to me with, "You're really pretty for a black girl. I had a huge crush on a white guy in my science class and - with an amount of courage that I wish I could muster as an adult - I asked him to an upcoming school dance.
Tinder ; the home of the young and bae-less. My relationship has kept me off the app, but from the constant string of complaints my mates make about life as a black woman in the Kingdom of Tinder, it doesn't sound like I've been missing out on much. Guys on Tinder will bang on virtual drums, declaring that their love black for women in the shittiest ode to anything ever, often to a load of black women who just want to get back to some regular raceless sexting.
Having two loving parents who were and still are together further helped paint a clear picture of what I wanted from a future boyfriend: passionate love. Because it is no secret that I am a transracial adoptee and that my parents and two oldest brothers are white. And perhaps my familial background has no relevance in this post, but it seems to come up whenever I defend my liking of white men.
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It had been over four years since my last relationship, and I was tired of the long stretches without sex. I was worried I didn't know how to be in a relationship any more and that I'd lost my skills in the bedroom. So when I finally activated an OkCupid account in the spring, I didn't expect so many white men to reach out to me or for them to move so quickly into revealing their fetish for black women.
Make sure to check it out! During the year that I spent studying in the UK I dated two extremely gorgeous dark-skinned women. I like their beautiful brown skin, their hearty smile and to be completely honest, I love how their skin smells like vanilla.
That maybe we like each other. I fantasize about our meet-cute. I spent my childhood surrounded by black and brown kids, but when I got to high school, suddenly everyone around me was white.
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